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Close One Eye. If there are Still Two of Them, They are Twins

from Drinks to Glitch to by FBt(-)

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about

But wait! Jon Stewart is speaking at DEU! And your buddy is on the DEU's Ultimate Frisbie team! And they just won some sort of non-aggressive-agressive-sport championship! You have no choice but to pregame with some SPARKS (which were not available in your state at that given time) and something like a screwdriver. Maybe it was a phillips...

Anyway, you hop a bus to the team's house with nothing but your best friend, your buddy, and a backpack containing one of each of the following: Sailor Jerry, Mountain Dew, a sketchbook, and lack of precognitivity. That's my word, by the way. Oh, and Jon Stewart was pretty cool.

You arrive and instantly your best friend sets and maintains longest keg stand. Your best friend is a girl.

You take to the living room and enjoy conversations spanning politics to entertainment with a crowd of about 5. That Sailor Jerry is pretty damn good, too. This marks the end of "The Rum Days".

Eventually, you find yourself in the kitchen with a very (hopefully) beautiful woman. You are in the kitchen for two reasons. One: you lost your cup (it was beside you the entire time). Two: this woman came into the kitchen.

Hours go by as the room and lady spin past, almost as fast as the clock's hands. Spittin' game has never been so easy. Mainly because you aren't spittin' game, but articulating complex ideas via slow speech (which, strange [or expected] as may be, was the relative speed of the clock's hands) and passion.

At this point, of hours past, you decide it best to close one eye. Ya know, to fully grasp the situation at hand... to truly see your woman as a singular self... to fully affirm your existence is truth; that reality has unfolded it's sides to show flat, unadulterated, singular truth. And you realize you have been talking to twins. And the twins realize you have been talking to what one might consider a super twin. Maybe an omnitwin. More likely a "perfect" girl in their eyes... only they weren't the perfect girl. They were two halves of a whole... a realization that will drive the course of the rest of their lives. Most likely into incestuous pornography of unspeakable natures.

The good news is: you don't puke. The bad news is: you single-handedly polished off a bottle of Sailor Jerry. See: "Wet Rock".

credits

from Drinks to Glitch to, released March 9, 2011

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FBt(-) New Cumberland, Pennsylvania

In the shadow of the atom age, who can blame us?

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